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The Ultimate Menu

Can I just start by saying how deeply I regret writing this article on an empty stomach.

I do have a lunchbox with me, which, despite being fabulously organised, is sadly always full of salad leaves, carrot sticks, trail mix, and occasionally a thin slice of quiche, as a treat. The lunchboxes, I can unashamedly tell you, are made by my fiancée Sarah. Perhaps she does it to be kind, or perhaps she is all too aware of how close the office is to the bakery, and she is trying to save me from myself. It would certainly be fair to say that the lockdown did me no favours in the waistline department, a fact Sarah and I are both aware of and have agreed to action. I normally don’t mind my lunchboxes, I’d even go so far as to say I quite like them (especially on quiche days), but, and I mean but, on a day when I have decided to write an article about the ultimate wedding menu, my sad little leaves are not enticing me anywhere near as much as the bakery across the road. Time will tell.

Anyhow, sad leaves aside, today I would like to talk about the Ultimate Wedding Menu. For an ultimate wedding menu, in essence the criteria is that there are no criteria. No budget, no dietary requirements, no reasons why not. The only rule is that there can only be 3 courses. Oh, and just for fun, a drink of choice!

As we usually do when writing these sorts of articles, we have turned to some of our staff members, fellow foodies who share my pain when I retrieve my lunchbox from the fridge.lu

First up we have Phil. Phil, amongst his many talents, is our Technology Guru. Phil, after much consideration, chose the following:

Starter: “Leek and lardon broth.”

Main: “Roast chicken with root vegetables and roast potatoes.”

Dessert : “Chocolate fudge cake and (Cornish!) clotted cream.”

Drink : “Passion fruit mojito.”

I feel like the unlimited budget idea hasn’t been stretched too much with that one, but each to their own! Let’s move on to Steve.

Steve, our managing director, was the next to reply, shouldn’t he be busier? Anyway, Steve is a talented chef in his own right, and unsurprisingly has gone down the gourmet route with his selections.

Starter: “Seared scallops wrapped in pancetta with black pudding and a minted pea puree.”

Main: “I’m actually going to go for something a bit more rustic than gourmet here, from my time spent in the army when I served in Cyprus. It’s called beef stifado, and it always brings back so many memories when it’s bubbling away in the kitchen. It’s not a quick dish though, so it will be nice for someone else to make it this time!”

Dessert: “Chocolate fondant, with a salted caramel sauce. Boom.”

Drink: “Call me boring, but I’d keep it simple, and go for a nice bottle of red wine. Probably a Châteauneuf-du-Pape, as I’m not paying.”

Teresa is our customer happiness manager. This is a role she takes great pride in. She could very arguably be titled as staff happiness manager after her introduction of Fudge Fridays to the office. Don’t tell Sarah!

Starter: “Avocado mousse (no apologies for this – I loved avocado way before it was fashionable!)”

Main: “Wagyu beef steak, chips and salad. (Full disclosure – I haven’t had wagyu beef, but I am working on the premise that it’s expensive, and I have an unlimited budget!)”

Dessert: “Eton mess (made with home-made meringue, of course, and Cornish strawberries)”

Drink: “Champagne (not fussy which brand!)”

Alex, AKA me, is the head of marketing. Naturally, you will not find a salad leaf in sight 😊

Starter: “Mussels, in a white wine/creamy sauce, with a big old crusty loaf for dipping. Not the most exciting of starters, but you just can’t go far wrong. On a mischievous note, the spillage potential of this dish could also provide interesting viewing with everyone in their finest outfits.”

Main: “Lamb shank with potato dauphinoise. Say no more!”

Dessert: “Hmm, I’m not the biggest sweet/dessert person. I think I’d have to go for a cheeseboard. And as it’s the ultimate and unlimited budget menu, I would like every single cheese to have a wow factor. No cheddar in sight, please.”

Drink: “Now this one took some real pondering. Normally my cocktail of choice would be a margarita. But with no budget, I’m going to go for something as opulent as possible. I’ve just looked online, and my choice would be a bottle of Macallan 1926 whisky. Never heard of it? I hadn’t either, but a bottle of it sold at auction in London for £1.45 million in 2019! Spillage potential has just levelled up!

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